Are you seeing clearly?

For the greater portion of my life (13 years of 25), I have been subject to a health problem with my vision. They are finally coming out with the technology to halt the progression of the disease. It really has been a bummer to me over the years. As I look back (figuratively speaking of course, otherwise my perspective would be obscure), I see that many things I would have enjoyed were not so enjoyable, or even things that I would have tried altogether, I didn't do. I tried out for baseball my junior year. I had always been a good baseball player growing up. In six grade I only struck out one time the whole season. I played third base, and center field that year. As an outfielder it was important to see well and gage the ball's distance. I noticed my junior year, that despite my athletic ability being greatly better, I was not a better baseball player than I was in six grade. I had lost my ability to gage a deep fly ball. In the batter's box I was unable to keep my eyes on the ball until connecting with the bat. It seemed hit and miss, where as I was used to just hitting. the saddening thing about it was My coach was not throwing any significant pitches. they were right down the middle and maybe 55 MPH tops. Those were pitches I should have been hitting every time. 

I think above all I have come across the solution in a time when the problem has escalated more than controllable. Not control in a physical level, but financially. I can't do it right now though I really want to. I have school to pay for, I have regular living bills to pay for, I'm tryin to pay off the student loans from last years waste of time on the Utah stint. Is there much more important than personal health? There are some more important things, but also, It's difficult to do those things without the health you need.

I am not a professional blogger

Seems that since the beginning of this blog business, I was never completely set on the whole idea. It's almost like conforming to this grand blogging scheme. I wonder who the mastermind behind it all is. Anyway I don't really have that question on the forefront of my mind. That particular question would be one a sci-fi minded person might ask in amazement of the cyber world. I just know there are these things called blogs, people write whatever they want, and nobody really reads it later. blogs, facebook, myspace, twitter... when does the world turn back into hopscotch, riding bicycles, playing wall ball, or four square, simple summer BBQ's and rodeos, cow pies and fire flies, country swing, and wedding rings, and a walk to the dairy queen for the discontinued but best blizzard ever, the nerd blizzard. It just seems that everything that was ever any good in life was simple to begin with, and remained simple in the end. Girls chased the boys, then later the boys chased the girls. Nobody was ever just content. there was always something to do to improve the quality of life, but always within the boundaries of honesty and hard work. 

Dream Sequence Cont...

Just goes to show that my dreams are not all warm and cuddly, or with any real meaning. last night i had a dream that my brother Ryan was some sort of vampire fighting guy, and I had no real super power, I just tagged along and sprayed some spray bottle with somethin in it into the vampire's faces. I even slipped on the ice in my dream. Fell right on my keaster. How embarrassing is that(!?)

And on to a different topic, I think there should be an invention of some symbol that means its a question and a statement, just like my last comment.

Dream Sequence

I had a dream last night...well this morning actually, thats when i get the best sleep i think. Anyway i had a dream where I fell in love. Strange dream that I think will let people understand who I am in thought and what not. This girl was tall with shorter blonde hair. she had little freckles on her cheek bones. She was beatiful to me. I met her through a blind date situation, but found out that she was related to some people I knew and respected very much. It was strange the moment I fell in love with her. All of her follies and worries didn't seem to matter to me, but in a deeper sense they meant so much to me in terms of providing comfort and an understanding mind and heart. She had a small child who i would end up caring for if i were to be in this relationship, but i was growing to love this child as well even though it was not my own. My dream ended with me tucking in this small child as the child lay next to their mother.

I don't think this dream is one of events to come or anything like that. However, i do think that the mind works out problems and replays events through dreams. I think this dream was a way of working out my thoughts in that particular situation even though my real life events don't mirror that at all. First, I think I could see the true desires of her heart even though she had gone through rough times in her life, i held on to more important things such as repentance through a broken heart and contrite spirit, an attribute she had taken. Second, In the story she was part of a family that i respected very much. this family in particular is known to me as one that communicates with eachother, and very much enjoys the bonds they form and continue to form each day. I remember liking that and wanting to be part of that. Third, the events of this dream satisfied the feeling of wanting to be loved in return, something we all need.

Disclaimer: I know this was not my normal humerous post that i would normally put here, but perhaps the reader should be able to see many parts of the blogger's personality.

Enchanting

Last night i watched Enchanted for the first time with my little cousin and realized that this movie solves all relationship problems.
Often I see in our society a growing sense of fantasy replacing reality. Being constantly swept away without any effort on your part. I liked enchanted because it starts out like the normal fairy tale but the real love story doesnt happen until the girl realizes that anything worth value is worked for in the real life situation. Love, as she begins to want it, doesnt mearly fall in her lap. She realizes that when she wants the benefits of love and understanding she begins to work for it. Basically all she does is give some effort back. Since our society typically acknowledges the male to make the move, he is usually not in the fantasy ideal, as any form of work symbolizes realism. (not always true as some females take over this role sometimes).
Making the move is a form of work. Reality and Fantasy can never coincide (one sided relationships will ware out quickly). Fantasy and Fantasy can never coincide (thats where the typical hollywood breakups come in). Only Reality and Reality have a chance to succeed. And you will see in talking to any couple who is successful that the real blessing has come in working through life's unavoidable real trials together as a mutual team in this real life. It works because they are willing to work.

Rose petals fade to gray and the starlight leaves with coming of a new work-day. But all of their feeling will luster still, when this Love found, is everything real.

Career changing experience

Today I was captivated by a job that promoted movement, patriotism, and an overall sense of one-ness. driving down University Avenue I saw a man dressed in an American "We Want You" costume, listening to hark rock music (i think it was hard rock by the way his greasy long hair flew everywhere with his deviled spiked fingers in the air. However, it coulda been Mozart). He wore a sign promoting movement as it said "Our business has moved to 300 South". What a great job...such freedom, expression, and moving...just moving.

Pizza's puzzle

I ate pizza tonight. nothing too exciting, however, i think it is funny when people will order bread sticks, but not eat their crust. kinda contradicting don't ya think?